Hi everyone,
Well once again it is Sunday and the only thing I have done so far is mastered the art of sitting on my butt. I loaded my favorite Audiobook onto my IPod and it took forever...and then some. Not sure why, the cds are in perfect condition but the dvd drive kept slowing down to a crawl.
I am almost positive that I am going to be up again tomorrow. I am thinking it is pms week. Although earlier today I looked at myself in the mirror and my waist seemed tiny. (Compared to usual). Now that it is mid afternoon, it is back to normal. I am starting to see more of my collar bone and cheek bones (at a certain angle). That is kinda exciting.
Yes I am happy about the direction that my life is now taking, but depressed about other areas. I hate hurting like this; but I have to follow my heart. If "my guy" and I do end up together I will be able to say that it will have all been worth it. I cant help that I wish he had more time to spend with me. How can he know and see how much I have changed if we only see each other in a blue moon? I have gotten so much smaller since he last held me. I cant even remember when the heck that was. I know I would be a great girlfriend. He said he never had those feelings for me but I think he did; but he got hurt that night almost three years ago, and now he doesnt trust me. What is it going to take to get him (and everyone else) to realize that I am not that Carrie anymore? He says he feels uncomfortable around me because he thinks I am more concerned with getting something than enjoying what we have. If I didnt want to spend time with him; I wouldnt. I dont waste my time with people I dislike. We all have to grow up sometime; and I have. There are times I wish I could just get my feelings for him to go away and it would be easier on us both. But every day they get stronger and that is why I know he is my soulmate. I dont care who else (in the future) may hit on me. I am not interested. I know I am nuts, but I know what my heart is telling me.
Well I should probably admit that in the past couple of weeks; I have become a full blown ITunes addict. Better that than back to food. If anyone has more musical suggestions for me; I am more than willing to listen. One of the dispatchers at work has downloaded some stuff from ITunes as well and has also loaded most of her cds onto her Macintosh laptop...she has over 4,000 songs...So I have my work cut out for me. I am around 1,300 right now. (And gaining). I wish they would put BL on there. They just have the workout dvd.
In case you havent noticed; it would appear that Aaron is back. Guess we gotta behave now...(haha). I am hoping that in the coming weeks we can get some new "members" who will last past one post. I am not referring to our new spammer friends. I am wondering what happened to the guy we had a couple weeks ago who (like me) had a Whopper and Cheese addiction. I consider you guys my family and when I dont hear/see you for a while...I worry. Anyone hear from EHyatt or Lady Jami? Typical woman; I worry/care too much.
Here's hoping you guys have a great weekend and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon!
~Carrie
